The Timeless Tale of Smashville's Finest
by Coraircate
Summary: Meta Knight, Fox, Ike, and Snake travel through time and space to solve the mystery of the stolen Baconator.
1. The Best of Times

Disclaimer: I do not own the _Super Smash Bros. _series or its characters. Thanks, Obama.

* * *

Author's Note: This takes place after the events of _Smashing Shenanigans_, featuring some of the characters from the original and a few references to the story. If you'd like to read that first, then good on you. **There are spoilers in here telling what happened, so if you haven't read that, now is the time. **Don't worry, though... You'll understand what's going on here even without reading that. But if you enjoy this, then you'll probably enjoy that one too. Thanks for taking the time to read this note, and I really do hope you love this fanfic.

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#1: THE BEST OF TIMES

Christmas Day 2013 was quite a strange time in Smashville. Following the explosion of a meth lab, the appearance of two new residents, and some group of friends getting arrested by an army of Pokemon, nobody really knew what to expect of their town anymore.

The arrest of Captain Falcon, Wolf, Lucario, and Marth changed more than their own lives. Roy, confined to a wheelchair after events of the Melee tournament, lived with Marth for basic support. Now that he was away, Roy struggled to adjust to his new lifestyle. He attempted to find a new roommate, though nobody really seemed interested in becoming a caretaker.

Meta Knight was less devastated, though still inconvenienced, as he now needed to find a new roommate to help in paying the rent. His minimum wage job at the local Italian restaurant, Mario and Luigi's, just did not cover all of his expenses.

It was January of 2014 when Meta Knight revealed that he could not pay rent. Unsurprisingly, his landlord was not satisfied with the news. Though Meta Knight begged for a raise at work, he was not only denied, but fired from the job completely. Meta Knight was evicted from his home on the first of February.

It just so happened that Fox McCloud was looking for a new roommate, since his previous roommate was no longer fond of the idea of living with him... for some reason. Though Meta Knight knew not what this reason was, he was out of options, so he showed up at Fox's home with hopes of moving in.

Meta Knight knocked three times on the door... no answer. Again, he knocked. Again, no answer. Meta Knight sighed and waited for a few more seconds. Fox was not coming to the door, he could clearly tell. As he turned on his heel and walked down the steps, he finally found his man.

"NO! GO AWAY!" Fox yelled, running down the road towards the house. At first, Meta Knight thought the Arwing pilot was speaking to him, but he then realized that the demand was directed at Fox's pursuer: Ike.

"You ate my Baconator!" he accused as he followed.

"I don't even like bacon! What is wrong with you?!" Fox screamed over his shoulder as he bounded up onto the steps. He saw Meta Knight as he reached for his keys and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Meta Knight responded, "I came to be your roommate."

"Perfect, it's all you, get in!" Fox told him, pushing the door open and ducking inside. Meta Knight quickly slipped into the building and let Fox slam the door behind him. The pilot locked the door in a hurry, before promptly barricading the door with a recliner.

"He's doing this all because of... a sandwich?" asked Meta Knight.

"He is _insane_!" Fox insisted. There was a pounding on the door.

"I will knock this door down if I have to!" shouted Ike.

"I'll call the police!" Fox insisted.

"Uh, you don't want to do that," Meta Knight told him.

Ike then cried, "I'm coming in!" He reared back, drew his sword, and thrust it through the door. The sword impaled the door and nearly cut into Fox.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" asked Fox.

"YOU ATE MY BACONATOR!" Ike yelled.

Fox responded, "I most certainly did not!"

"Why does he think you did it?" Meta Knight asked.

Fox replied, "I have absolutely no idea."

Just then, Ike tore down the door with a mighty slam of his fist, and he reclaimed his sword from the wood. He began pushing on the defeated door in an attempt to move the recliner out of the way.

"Follow me!" Fox told Meta Knight, turning around and running to a door in his bedroom. Meta Knight followed closely behind, and arrived in the room just as Fox was opening a door to what he thought was a closet. It turned out to be a stairway leading down into a basement area. The two proceeded down the stairs into a eerie room with flickering lights and the smell of chemicals.

"What's all this?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox replied, "My lab. We need to do something about Ike, and I'm afraid it's a little dangerous. Then again, so is Ike." He proceeded over to a large machine covered up by a thick black cloth.

"What's under here?" Meta Knight asked. Fox removed the curtain.

"_This_ is a time machine," Fox told him. "We need to figure out who took Ike's damn sandwich and then get it back before Ike murders me, and you by association."

"A time machine? Seriously?" wondered Meta Knight skeptically.

"Really," Fox said. "Look, I know it's cliché. Blame the author. Anyway, hop in. We have to go back." The machine was very rusty-looking, and made up of various parts including a bathtub, printer, and oscillating fan. If Meta Knight didn't know any better, he'd say that Fox just glued some pieces together and then put on a car door. Meta Knight stepped in after Fox and looked around. It was very cramped, and could maybe fit six people max. There was a laptop hooked up to what appeared to be a big, typical console of multiple buttons that likely did various different functions to progress the plot in the event of writer's block and effortless writing. In the back corner opposite of the entrance, there was a single, functioning toilet.

"Why is there a toilet?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox replied, "This thing can go anywhere at anytime. Even places and times without toilets. You're welcome."

"You couldn't put it in another room?" asked Meta Knight.

"Ran out of stuff," was Fox's excuse. "Anyway, I'm sending us back to a few minutes before the Baconator was taken. That will give us a chance to get into a safe position and watch the crime scene. We have to make sure not to interfere with the events that take place, since that could create a major paradox."

"Yeah yeah, I saw _Back to the Future_," Meta Knight said. "How the hell did you put this together?"

"I programmed it on my laptop," Fox told him, as he began to type in numbers on a keypad.

"Must be an amazing computer," Meta Knight determined.

"It's an okay computer," professed Fox. With that, he flipped a lever, causing the machine to shake just a bit.

"Alright, here we go," Fox said. And with that, he pushed a big red button. Suddenly, there was the sound of a key scraping along piano wires and jingling bells.

"I've got you now!" came Ike's voice.

"Oh God!" screamed Fox. Just then, Ike swung open the door and charged at Fox. Fox dodged to the side, causing Ike to fall onto the computer and slam it shut.

"No! You just put it into hibernate!" Fox yelled.

"I'll put you into hibernate!" Ike proclaimed. And then, there was a bright flash.

* * *

Meta Knight slowly awoke, and realized he was still in the time machine. Specifically, sitting on the toilet in the corner. He got to his feet, before stumbling and falling to the ground in dizziness. His vision was less than stellar, and he was unsure what had happened to his senses. Looking around, he began to realize that there were others in the machine, and it was apparent that wherever and whenever they were, they had all made the trip together.

As the swordsman's eyes adjusted, he saw Fox lying unconscious in the middle of the floor. Ike was propped up on the console, covered in drool and a bit of blood from where he took a nasty blow. He was snoring, so he was clearly alive.

"Fox," whispered Meta Knight. "Wake up." Fox groaned and rolled over, but he did not awaken.

"Fox!" he said louder. Fox jerked suddenly, though he then laid back down. Meta Knight shook his head and walked closer.

"Fox!" he said once more, gently kicking Fox in the side.

"Huhwhat?" Fox gasped, sitting up. "Oh, we're alive I see."

"Yeah, we're alive," Meta Knight told him. "Can you tell what happened after that flash of light?"

"Well, we traveled somewhere," Fox said. "Putting the computer in hibernate is sketchy, so I don't know where exactly this puts us. Nothing completely different from where we were before, maybe a few miles away and a few years back, but nothing like a century back in Indonesia or anything."

"Right, well, so we're probably in Smashville in the last twenty years or something?" Meta Knight gathered.

"Maybe, give or take," Fox said. "Could be in Picken or something. Maybe in the future even."

"Wouldn't that be better than being in the past?" asked Meta Knight. "We could change history by going to the past, couldn't we?"

"Time is really weird," Fox revealed. "People tend to forget seeing a time machine. Never sure why. It's pretty safe as long as we don't do anything stupid."

"I think Ike over there is the only one who could do something stupid," Meta Knight revealed.

"Damn! I forgot about him!" Fox said. "We've gotta do something about him!"

"Like what?" Meta Knight asked. "Leave him behind?"

"Bad idea," Fox believed. "Imagine the damage that guy could cause."

"I'll cause some damage to your face..." Ike said, as he awoke slowly. He looked at Fox, and his eyes widened. Then, he shot up and lifted his sword. "That's it, Fox! I've had enough of you!"

"This has gone on long enough!" Meta Knight shouted. He drew his sword and advanced towards Ike, holding it next to his neck. "What makes you think Fox took your damn Baconator?"

"I SAW HIM!" Ike insisted.

"You didn't see me," Fox told him. "I didn't do it!"

"Yeah? Well prove it!" Ike demanded.

Fox answered, "I would have if you hadn't tackled my computer! Now you sent the time machine who knows where and who knows when!"

"Time machine? Bullshit!" Ike said. He stood straight up, edged away from Meta Knight's sword, and approached the door. It had somehow shut itself in the journey, so Ike threw it open again.

"Where the hell are we?!" Ike asked. Meta Knight and Fox looked out the door with him.

"Looks like Saffron City," examined Fox. "It was a stage back in the original tournament. Not a fun stage to fight on."

"Looks like there's a fight going on now," determined Meta Knight. It was true. Mario and Luigi were punching and kicking each other all over the place. "Yeah, that's right. You two beat each other up. Assholes."

"Why are they assholes?" asked Fox.

"They fired me," said Meta Knight. Just then, a creaking sound, and then the sound of something metal breaking and a crashing sound of a body. The three turned around.

"Snake? What are you doing in here?!" asked Fox. It was apparent that Snake had fallen from the ceiling, as a tile had broken off and was now dangling by a single cable.

"Uhm... How did I get here?" asked Snake to himself. "Oh yeah! I remember now! I was chasing this cute little squirrel, and then... then he jumped into your window. So, I was like, 'Hey! Come back!' And the squirrel was all like, 'No!' So... I followed it into the window and it ran down these stairs and so I followed it and it jumped into this box and climbed up into the ceiling, so then I climbed up and found out that there was like, a whole squirrel tribe living in the ceiling. I started living with the squirrels."

"How long were you up there?" Fox interrogated.

"Uh... Three days, maybe four," Snake said.

"I don't believe this story at all," Meta Knight revealed. He jumped up and grabbed the edge, poking his head up over it. "And... a hundred squirrel corpses. I believe you now."

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: And now we have our wonder team for the story! Hope you liked the setup chapter, because now that we have the things we can do the stuff.


	2. Saffron City

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#2: SAFFRON CITY

Fox and the rest of the time travelers had gathered around Fox's computer in an attempt to learn what time they had arrived in, and whether or not they should leave.

"April 2, 2014," read Fox from his information and random numbers on the screen of his laptop.

"So we don't have to worry about screwing anything up, right?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox answered, "Probably not. As long as we don't somehow run into ourselves or interact with ourselves in any way. Don't call any phones, and definitely make sure to mark it on your calendar to stay away from Saffron City on April 2, 2014."

"Speaking of phones, I have a text from Bowser," said Snake as he looked at his phone. "Could be wondering where I am."

"Don't read that!" Fox exclaimed. "You're receiving that text on April 2, 2014. If you read it, you could learn something about your future."

"I should ask him the lottery numbers from the past few months!" Snake figured.

"No!" Fox said. "You can't learn about your future! If you change anything about your life between our previous time and now, then you create a paradox because you know something that it is not possible for you to know!"

"What's wrong with a paradox?" asked Snake.

"Nobody knows for sure," Fox confessed. "But the odds are, all hell will break loose."

With a nod, Meta Knight told Snake simply, "Right. So don't cause one."

"I won't! Geez, you guys act like I'm irresponsible!" Snake cried in defense.

"I heard you put a car battery in a microwave," Fox pointed out.

Ike added, "Oh yeah, I heard that too!"

"I didn't do that!"

"I think you're lying," Ike countered.

"Am not!"

"Can we _not_ do this?" Meta Knight asked rhetorically. "Fox, can you take us to the crime scene so we can see who really took Ike's Baconator?"

"Ahmmm, not yet," Fox revealed with a nervous rub of the back of his head.

"Why not?" asked Ike.

Fox explained, "The engine in this thing gets pretty hot when we time travel. It turns out that a DMC DeLorean from the 80's really doesn't have an engine for this thing."

"You built a time machine... out of a DeLorean?!" screamed Snake. The other three looked at him disapprovingly. "Sorry. Nobody else made the comment and I felt like I was expected to."

"Riiiiight," sounded the masked swordsman. "How long until we can go back?"

The fox, Fox, said, "About an hour, give or take."

"Great, so what are we supposed to do for an hour?" Ike wondered impatiently.

"We might as well look around since we're here," Fox suggested with a grin. "It's the future!"

"Yeah, maybe a black guy will be president!" Snake proposed.

Meta Knight told him, "A black guy is _already _president, dumbass."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Snake shouted.

Fox asked, "You sure about that?"

Ike then added, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure President Fassad is white."

"_Fassad_?! What about Obama?" Meta Knight cried in disbelief.

"Obama? Who's that?" asked Ike.

"Side-effect of the first trip through time," Fox realized. "You're imagining an alternate reality. Don't worry, you'll be back to your senses soon."

"Ha! I'm not a dumbass!" Snake cheered. "I was right!"

Meta Knight turned to him and revealed that he was indeed a dumbass, despite being right. The others nodded in agreement.

"Anyway, let's go check out Saffron City!" Fox cheered. Meta Knight walked over to the door and peeked outside.

"How are we going to get to the ground?" asked Meta Knight.

"Jump," Ike told him plainly. "It's not like we take fall damage or anything."

"But then how do we get back _up_?" Meta Knight further interrogated.

"Good point," Fox pointed out. "Right, I have this endless ladder that I picked up in the year 2178 at Cardiff. We'll put it to use here."

"They invented a tangible infinity?" asked Meta Knight. "With technology like that, they must have everything figured out."

"Everything but showers that are the perfect temperature right away," replied Fox as he took the infinite rope ladder in hand. It was like a small bag that you would find a sleeping bag, or a kidnapped baby, inside, and it had a buckle clip on the end that did not open. Fox reached within the mouth at the other end and pulled out the end of a rope ladder.

"This little clip on the side here fastens the ladder in place," Fox told the group. "Meta Knight, you're in charge of flipping that once I'm on the ground." Meta Knight nodded in agreement. Fox fastened the buckle clip to a rail next to the door before jumping from the time machine with the rope ladder in hand.

"After you," Ike motioned to Snake.

"...I'm scared," Snake pointed out.

"Wimp," Ike taunted.

"I'm not a wimp!" Snake yelled.

"Good," responded Ike with a smile. He stuck his foot out and then pushed Snake over it, tripping him and causing him to plummet face first towards the earth. Ike turned to Meta Knight and gave a half-wave, half-salute, before jumping backwards out the time machine door. Meta Knight then clicked the switch on the side of the bag before jumping and gliding to the ground.

* * *

"Now see here, I ordered a Master Ball three weeks ago, and it has yet to arrive! That's well beyond the time limit I paid for, and I want to know what the hold-up is!"

"I'm sorry, professor, but there have been snags in the production line," explained the man at the desk to the older man in the lab coat and dress pants. "A Voltorb got stuck in the machinery and blew up the equipment, and repairs are only now finishing."

Professor Oak left the Silph Co. building in a huff; too long had he waited for a very important item to ship to contribute to his research. For what reason, he was uncertain, as it was apparent he was being lied to; a Voltorb could not get stuck in the machinery considering Voltorbs went extinct the previous year thanks to their own trainers commanding them to detonate in hopes of blowing the Pokemon of other trainers to kingdom come.

The grumbling, irritated professor stumbled along the road, feeling quite cheated. The Silph Company dominated the Kanto economy, with its production of the entire range of Pokeballs, Potions, and Repels. They also found significant success with their own take on lamp oil, rope, and bombs.

"They just fell from the sky!" came the voice of a woman in surprise.

A small girl asked, "Are they Pokemon?"

"Game Freak's really running out of ideas," said a young man. Professor Oak looked to the source of the voices and saw a gathering culminating around something in a nearby street. Oak, an expert on Pokemon, would have to be the first to document a new species. As he excused himself and motioned people aside, the professor closed in and found a group of four individuals: one furry and dressed like a pilot, another with a sword and a cape, a third with a headband and a overly tight outfit, and finally a round creature with wings and a mask.

"These two aren't Pokemon, they're people!" acknowledged Oak to himself with a nod. He then looked to the furry creature.

"What's this Pokemon? Another fox Pokemon?" he asked himself. To the creature, he asked, "What kind of Pokemon are you? Say your name. What does the fox say?"

"Uuuuungh..." moaned the fox.

"Ah, you're an Ungachu," established Professor Oak with approval. "Now tell me, are you a boy or a girl?" The fox's eyes opened.

"Shit!" he screamed, jumping up.

"Oh, that's my grandson's name!" said Professor Oak. "You know Shit?"

"Meta Knight, Snake, Ike! Wake up!" ordered Ungachu to the other three parties. "There's a crazy guy interrogating me!"

"Whose idea was it to jump out of that thing?" wondered Meta Knight as he awoke covered in scrapes and sores.

"Probably Snake's," noted Ike as he struggled to his feet.

Snake protested, "It was the author's idea." He felt a pain in his jaw as if he had been punched, though nobody was there.

"Right, move along!" Meta Knight told the crowd. "There's nothing to see here!" The people freaked out and ran away, as they did not seem to hold high opinions of Pokemon that could speak Kantish.

"What do you want, old man?" asked Ike to the professor.

"Old?! I'll have you know that I am plenty spry, thank you very much!" the professor insisted.

"I see..." muttered Meta Knight.

The professor then spoke up. He asked them, "Who are you four, anyway?"

Snake responded, "Oh! We're time tra-"

"Problem solvers!" interrupted Meta Knight.

"Ah, it sounded like your friend was about to say time travelers," the professor noted with a chuckle. "Funny how age plays tricks on you."

"Ha, yeah, funny indeed," Meta Knight agreed awkwardly. "So who are you?"

Oak answered, "I am the famous and revered Professor Samuel Oak of Pallet Town, expert in the study of Pokemon!"

"Oh, I've heard of you from the Pokemon Trainer," revealed Fox with the bounce of his pointer and a repetitive nod. "He said you gave him his first Pokemon."

"Why yes, I tend to give away starter Pokemon," Oak assured. "Though lately I haven't been in any shape to give anyone their Pokemon."

"Why not?" asked Ike.

Oak remarked, "Because Silph Co.'s not making Pokeballs to put them in. They're a little sketchy these days. Kind of a shame, too. The economy depends on them."

"They're that big?" asked Meta Knight. "I figured a society as well-established as Kanto would have disallowed monopolies by now."

"Well I don't know what all that means, but I'm asking you to go figure out what those people are up to!" Professor Oak demanded of them.

Fox quipped, "You're asking something like that out of people you just met?"

Oak maintained, "I most certainly am. All of the roads out of town are closed until you do this, so get on it!" He then turned on his heel and strolled away, presumably to leave the city through one of the closed roads.

"Kanto people are freaking weird," reported Meta Knight.

"Well, I guess we should leave now," Fox decided. "I've had enough of this place."

"No!" disagreed Ike. "We're the good guys! We have a duty, and that duty is to help these people and save their economy!"

"He said duty," giggled Snake.

"Look Ike, I know you want to be the hero and everything, but that's not what this machine was made for," Fox told him. "Changing history is not wise, since that alters the future."

"What's wrong with changing the future?" Ike asked. "We haven't gotten here yet, so we could change history from our own time and get the same effect."

"Wow... Ike's actually right," Meta Knight scoffed.

"Yeah, maybe," Fox replied. "But do we _really_ need to help these people? We don't owe them anything."

Snake responded, "I kind of like the idea of being a hero."

"I like being a bringer of swift justice," Ike said.

"It'd be fun to kick some evil syndicate ass or something like that," Meta Knight reasoned.

"Alright then," agreed Fox. "Let's go check out this Silph Co."

TO BE CONTINUED


	3. Me, My Silph, and I

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#3: ME, MY SILPH, AND I

Fox confirmed, "This is the place."

As Snake looked the towering facility over, he asked, "You sure about that?"

"Well," Fox started. "It says The Silph Company in big letters over the door, and the signs around the area all suggest the same thing, so yes, Snake, I am sure about that." There was a certain edginess in his voice.

Snake whimpered, "No need to be so mean." Fox ignored his pain and entered the building with Meta Knight, Snake, and Ike closely behind.

The entrance was large and fancy with potted plants that, unlike those on Snake's front porch, had not been urinated in, and a fancy sort of tiling on the floor that a man could see his reflection in from eleven floors up- eleven floors being the count of those in the very building from which this comparison is made. There were all sorts of elevators, cubicles, and stairs, particularly higher up in the building, since this was a heavily used office being the corporate headquarters of the sole economic superpower of the region and those surrounding it. In the center of the front area of this particular floor, there was a massive fountain that Ike or Snake could be drowned in assuming their very presence became unbearable (an idea which Meta Knight almost pointed out to Fox until he refrained on account of the lashing out he could receive for suggesting something of the sort while they were outside their own time). There were couches and chairs on either side of the room, in the event that someone was waiting for something, and in the corner stood a lone woman, a lone woman surrounded by walls on two sides and an L-shaped desk on the other sides, forming an inescapable prison that would no doubt serve as her final resting place and eternal prison considering the lack of sophisticated exits, assuming she had a broken leg that prevented her from hopping over the counter.

"So ummm... What exactly did that crazy professor want us to do?" asked Meta Knight to Fox. Fox struggled to find the words that would form his answer, and he looked around the room as if he would find them hovering about the room in various places.

Finally, he presented the answer, "Investigate them to see just what they're hiding and why, I guess."

"And how do we do that? Just look around?" Meta Knight further pressed.

"That's a little direct," Fox pointed out.

Meta Knight replied, "Well I don't feel like playing Mission Improbable all the way to the top floor."

"We need to know what we're up against," Snake chimed in.

"When did we become _up against_ anything?" Meta Knight wondered with just a twinge of rhetoric.

Snake then elaborated, "I'm an expert in reconnaissance and investigation and a whole lot of other awesome stuff."

"You can't even spell reconnaissance," drilled Meta Knight.

"Hell, _I _can't even spell that," pointed out Fox.

"R-E-C-O-N-A-S-I-N-T-S," taunted Ike.

Snake nodded and said, "That's exactly right. Now, let me come up with a plan." Meta Knight looked to Fox for a solution. Fox just returned a confused look and a shrug.

"Right then! Here we go!" Snake led, throwing himself into a chair and pulling a huge roll of brown paper from nowhere in particular. He unrolled it onto a table and into the floor, letting it trail out the automatic door and into the streets of Saffron City. From his pocket he pulled out a red crayon and began to draw out some diagram.

Meta Knight then pointed out, "The lady behind the desk has been looking straight ahead this whole time."

"Don't think too much of it," Fox told him. "Not a lot of people in this region turn to look in other directions, and on those rare occasions they do, it looks _very strange_."

Ike at this point had already taken a seat next to Snake to look over at the no doubt fantastic Van Gogh killer that was being forged in a flurry of scarlet scribbles.

"Alright, I'm done!" Snake exclaimed, raising his fists in victory and leaning back with the map in hand. Fox and Meta Knight turned and closed in on him to view the plan with low expectations.

"Okay, so here's the plan..." started Snake with a clearing of the throat. "I'm going to sneak into the air vents and climb to the top floor. Once I'm up, I'll drop a marble down the vent and let it drop to the ground. When you hear it hit, that will be your signal. You three will run up the stairs and assault everyone you see and we'll meet in the middle." The whole time, he pointed to each step on his map, though the others could not make out how the drawings even remotely resembled his descriptions.

Meta Knight was first to ask the obvious question, "So how do we figure out what's going on with Silph Co.?" Snake paused for a moment or two and stared at nothing in particular.

"Oh," he blankly answered. Meta Knight slapped the drawing out of his hands and crumpled it up before tossing it into the trash can.

"Hey! That's my drawing!" he shouted, jumping from his seat and running over to the trash can to recover his drawing.

Meta Knight began to form a plan he preferred by saying, "We need to go up one floor at a time and interrogate each and every person we see. Someone's bound to know something."

"I'd wager everyone knows something," Fox proposed. "It's just whether or not they'll tell us. These people like to keep secrets."

"What's this?" Snake asked. He reached down to the bottom of the trash can and did something. Suddenly, Fox screamed and fell through the floor below him. A trapdoor had opened up and caused him to plummet to his doom, maybe.

"What did you just do?" Meta Knight asked Snake. The trapdoor swung closed.

Snake answered, "I just pushed this button!"

"Well we've gotta go after him!" Meta Knight insisted. "Push it again!"

"Fine, fine," agreed Snake, and he reached back down to push the button. As he did, a bit of water dripped onto the top of his head, and suddenly a trapdoor opened above him and dumped out at least sixty pounds of raw carp right onto him. He was crushed beneath the fishy booby trap.

Meta Knight sighed and asked himself, "Why did I not expect as much?"

* * *

Following his descent from the first floor, Fox found himself sliding down an impressive and steep ramp that would probably end up killing him once his hit the bottom if he was not a main character. It was surprisingly clean and sturdy, implying that this ramp had great relevance in some respect. He was almost falling at terminal velocity considering both the steep nature of the ramp and the almost buttery feel of its surface.

After what felt like ten minutes but was really more like one, the ramp curled up into a less precarious angle and allowed Fox to slide off the end into a rather warm and muddy feeling substance. He was covered from head to toe in whatever it was, and as he got to his feet, he realized he was standing in a massive basket of mashed potatoes. But what was stranger than that, arguably, is the fact that the room was very homely, with plates mounted on the wall, and wooded floors and walls, with a table covered in food. It wasn't just homely, it was a home, with occupants and all.

"Oh honey, I didn't know we were having company," came the nasally voice of a female. Fox looked to the source of the voice and saw a pair of large squirrels sitting at the table (_"How did I miss that?"_).

The other squirrel responded, "I didn't know either. Welcome to our house. You're welcome to some food if you'd like." It was apparent that the two squirrels were married, but what was less apparent was the reason they were there. Even _less _apparent was why Fox was there.

"You live here?" Fox asked, as if the answer was not completely obvious.

"Why yes we do," the male squirrel answered. "I built this house twenty-seven years ago, after I returned from the war."

Fox further interrogated, "You were in a war?"

"I was," he answered. "That was the style back then."

"Right..." he muttered. "What's the fastest way out of here?"

"Why, the way you came, of course," the squirrel told him.

Fox cursed under his breath and returned to the slide, where he began to climb, dripping in mashed potatoes and incredibly inconvenienced.

* * *

Meta Knight decided, "Alright, you know what? I'm so done with this place. We're getting Fox back and then leaving."

Ike jumped up and protested, "But we have to stop the evildoing that's going on here! ADVENTURE!"

Meta Knight shook his head and answered, "No, no adventure! We need to get Fox and go find who took your damn Baconator so this whole time travel incident will be over!" He pulled out his sword and thrust it into the space between the trapdoor and the floor, attempting to pry it open.

"Gah, it won't budge!" he complained before removing the blade and sighing. "Fine, we'll have to fix whatever it is that's going on here."

"Yeah! We get to be the heroes!" Ike decided.

Meta Knight groaned audibly and decided to make his way over to the lady standing behind the desk. "Excuse me!"

No response.

"Hello?"

Nothing at all.

"Allow me," Snake told Meta Knight. He stepped over to the counter, put his elbow on it and propped his chin on his fist as he smiled at the lady.

"Eyy," he flirted.

She then responded, "Welcome to Silph Co. Sorry, but we are temporarily closed."

"What... What was that all about?" Meta Knight asked Snake.

"You wanna go out to dinner with me tonight?" Snake pressed further. No response.

"A!" Ike shouted at her.

"Welcome to Silph Co. Sorry, but we are temporarily closed," she repeated.

"She responds to when we say A!" Ike pointed out.

"Welcome to Silph Co. Sorry, but we are temporarily closed," she said once more.

"Yeah yeah yeah," muttered Meta Knight. He decided to head over to the elevator and push the up button. After a good twenty seconds of waiting, it opened, and Meta Knight stepped inside.

"You guys coming?" he asked Ike and Snake. The two jumped into the elevator just as the door closed. Meta Knight pushed the 11 button to send them all straight to the top floor.

"Why are we going to the top?" asked Ike.

"Nothing ever happens on the middle floors," Meta Knight insisted. The elevator stopped, and opened up. Meta Knight stepped out and rounded the corner. "I... don't believe it."

"It's a dead end!" Ike realized.

"Who would make a dead end floor? WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING IT?!" Meta Knight shouted at God and man.

"It's not _totally_ a dead end," Snake pointed out, with his ear against the wall. "There's more to it."

"What do you mean?" asked Meta Knight.

"Watch and learn!" he said. He pulled out a packet of C4 and put it against the wall before securing it in place with duct tape.

"You seriously carry that around with you?" Meta Knight questioned with disbelief. "That seems a little dangerous."

"Stand back," Snake told them. They did. He pushed a button on some remote thing he happened to have on him, which set off the C4 in an instant. The wall came down and revealed another room.

"What the hell?" came a voice. The trio stepped over the rubble and saw a middle aged man in a suit looking at them in disbelief from his couch in a small lounge room.

"Are you the guy behind what's going on at Silph Co.?" asked Meta Knight with disinterest and irritation.

"So! I must say, I am impressed you got here. Team Rocket captures Pokémon from around the world. They're important tools for keeping our criminal enterprise going. I am the leader, Giovanni! For your insolence, you will feel a world of pain!" he shouted at the three of them.

"Team who?" asked Meta Knight.

"Nidorino! I choose you!" Giovanni spat, throwing out a small purple Pokemon that you can look up on Google if you are ignorant to the joys of Pokemon.

Meta Knight was dumbstruck. "You seriously expect me to battle you when I have no Pokemon? Like, that's really a thing you want to happen?"

"Alright!" Ike cheered. "Meta Knight! I choose you!"

"What..."

"Don't worry, I play lots of Pokemon!"

"Nidorino! Use Horn Attack!" Giovanni commanded, causing Nidorino to lunge forward and impale Meta Knight through the stomach with its horn.

"HOLY SHIT!" Meta Knight screamed.

"This is interesting," grunted Snake from behind, as he took notes with a Blue's Clues notepad and crayon set.

"Alright Meta Knight! Use Sacred Sword!" Ike told Meta Knight.

"I'M BLEEDING! I THINK IT PIERCED MY HEART! SOMEONE GET ME A DOOOOOOOOOCTOOOOOOOOOR!" Meta Knight screamed at the top of his lungs as he hovered in midair by the horn through his chest.

"Nidorino! Use Poison Sting!" Giovanni continued. Nidorino then fired a series of pins from his mouth.

"HOW IS THIS LEGAL?!" exclaimed Meta Knight.

"Okay Meta Knight! Come back! Snake! I choose you!" Ike commanded.

"WHERE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GO?! I CAN'T FEEL MY SPINE!"

"Here I go, boss!" Snake cheered, jumping into the front lines.

"Snake! Use Grenade Toss!" Ike told Snake. Snake agreed, taking a grenade from his pocket and chucking it into the middle of the room.

"REMOVE THE PIN NEXT TIME, DUMBASS!" Meta Knight shouted.

"Nidorino, use Helping Hand!" Giovanni commanded. Nidorino did absolutely nothing.

"Alright, Snake! Now, use Pistol Shot! On the grenade!" Ike told Snake. Snake whipped out his gun and pointed it at the grenade.

"Showtime," he said cheekily, before pulling the trigger and blowing up the grenade. Fiery awesomeness enveloped the room, and Nidorino and Giovanni were completely singed by the blast, though Meta Knight was mysteriously unharmed. Nidorino turned to ash, while Giovanni collapsed in the floor in a defeated heap.

"We did it!" Ike cheered. He and Snake grunted at each other before chest bumping in midair.

"...Help me..." groaned Meta Knight from the floor. Finally, Ike realized the seriousness of his friend's injury.

"We gotta get him some help," Ike told Snake.

"I'm not so sure we can do anything for him," Snake responded gravely.

"Of course we can do something!" Ike professed. "I know just the place!" He bent over and picked up Meta Knight before slinging the tiny swordsman over his shoulder and leading Snake to the elevator and pushing the button to return to the bottom floor.

The elevator descended and opened up before the two walked out into the lobby. As they neared the exit, the trapdoor swung open.

"I made it," huffed Fox, as he clambered out onto the floor, covered in mashed potatoes.

"What happened to you?" Ike asked. Fox collapsed in exhaustion.

"He looks really delicious right now," Snake said.

"Bring him with us," Ike told Snake. "We need him." Snake walked over and attempted to lift Fox.

"Ugh, he's way too heavy," Snake confessed. Ike sighed and threw Fox over his other shoulder before muttering, "Wimp." The two walked outside and down the street a bit, before Ike led Snake into a building with a red roof. It was labeled, P.C.

"Hello, would you like me to heal your Pokemon?" asked a pink haired lady behind a counter.

"Why yes," Ike told her. "Yes I would." He dropped Fox and Meta Knight's motionless bodies onto the counter top. The nurse effortlessly picked them up and set them on a big, sci-fi esque machine behind her. It beeped a few times, and they watched as the hole in Meta Knight's chest disappeared.

"Jeez, we need one of these in Smashville," Meta Knight exclaimed at he sat up. Fox got up more slowly, though the two both eventually hopped up and climbed over the counter. The four of them walked out of the building.

"So, how'd the whole mission go?" asked Fox to the others.

"Me and Snake did everything ourselves!" Ike cheered.

"Really?" Fox responded in disbelief.

"He's not lying," Meta Knight insisted.

"Whoa..." Fox then said. "I'm impressed."

"Granted, I'm pretty sure they killed a guy," Meta Knight pointed out.

"It's okay! He was evil!" Ike told him.

"Right..." Fox mumbled. "What's say we get back to the time machine?"

"Please," begged Meta Knight. The four returned to the ladder beside the tall building, where they began to climb. After what seemed like centuries to the tired team, they finally got back into the time machine. Fox pulled up the ladder and detached it from the door before throwing the infinite ladder into a drawer next to the toilet.

"Right, so I guess we're off to find out who took Ike's Baconator," Fox established with a half-pirouette as he neared the laptop.

"You know guys, I think this could be a lot of fun," Ike told them with a smile.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Lord Ike

A/N: This chapter is based on a script I made for an audio drama that never got off the ground. It has been altered for the sake of both humor and consistency. Please let me know if you like it.

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#4: LORD IKE

Fox grabbed the laptop and took it into the fold of his left arm before typing with his right hand. As he kept typing, something seemed off. He began to frantically push buttons.

"What the..." he muttered.

Meta Knight concernedly asked him, "What's wrong?"

Fox shrugged with one shoulder and said, "It's not letting me use any number other than 1!"

"What does that mean?" Ike wondered.

Fox responded, "We're either going to January or November, in the year 11, 111, or 1111. Oh, and the first or eleventh of the month, as if that matters."

"Try using the keypad," Meta Knight suggested. Fox reached over to do so.

"None of these buttons work," he told Meta Knight.

"Turn on Num Lock," said Meta Knight. Fox pushed the Num Lock button. Suddenly, the whole time machine jerked.

"I don't guess that's what it should've done when you pushed that?" asked Ike rhetorically.

"The keys are all messed up! It registered that as pushing Enter!" Fox shouted. Just then, the time machine bounced up ten feet in the air. "The engine is revving!"

"Well turn it off!" Meta Knight told him.

"I can't! Backspace doesn't work!" Fox complained. Just then, the time machine jumped up again, and then lurched over the edge of the building it was on top of.

"We're falling off the building!" Meta Knight pointed out. "Do something, Fox!" The time machine was now rotating in air, tossing about all of its inhabitants.

"We gotta time travel! Hang on!" Fox insisted, from the air. As the time machine continued to fall, nobody could manage to touch the button.

"Someone hit the red button!" Fox shouted. Just then, Snake revealed his rocket launcher. He put it onto his shoulder and fired a Nikita, manipulating it to fire forward and turn with the time machine to hit the red button and explode.

* * *

"Ugh... everybody okay?" asked Meta Knight from the floor of the time machine. The console had been blown to bits, and the laptop was smashed up tremendously, with keys and bits of the innards strewn about.

"Just fine," Ike replied as he got to his feet.

"The time machine, wow," Fox examined. "This is going to be a whole lot of work."

"Yeah! I totally saved our lives!" Snake exclaimed in delight.

"Or sentenced us to death in a different time period," noted Ike.

"What time period are we in, exactly?" wondered Meta Knight.

"The last thing I had typed in was 11-11-1111," Fox told him. "So we're in Smashville in November of the year 1111."

"Whoa, let's check it out!" Snake told him. He turned on his heel and began to trot towards the door.

"No, wait!" Fox shouted at him. "We can't go out there! It'd change the past!"

"And a time machine appearing out of nowhere wouldn't?" Ike pressed.

"He's got a point," admitted Meta Knight with a shrug.

"Alright, we have to fix the time machine anyway," Fox said. "Let's find somewhere to hide it and then I'll work on fixing it."

"How long will it take?" Meta Knight asked him.

"Could be minutes, maybe even days," Fox responded. "Not sure how bad it is."

"Right..." With that, Ike threw open the door and stepped out into the light.

"My Lord Kovek! I am humbled!" came the voice of a man. Ike looked over and saw a short man who appeared to be about thirty, with dirty brown hair and a blue outfit, bowing on one knee in front of him.

"Who are you?" Ike asked him.

"I am but your humble servant, Ronson," answered the stranger. "It was foretold that you would fall from the sky, but I was not expecting you so soon."

"What is he talking about?" asked Snake as he stepped outside.

"And you have brought an angel with you, I see," Ronson examined.

"Angel?" Snake asked himself. He stroked his beard. "That doesn't fit me at all. I'm _badass_!"

"Take it easy, Saint Snake," taunted Meta Knight.

"I'LL SHOW YOU!" Snake shouted. "I'LL SHOW ALL OF YOU!" With that, he jumped up in the air and rocketed off into the distance, running towards what appeared to be Smash Forest circa 1111.

"What's going on out here?" asked Fox.

"My lord, the people need you!" Ronson told Ike. "Please! You must come with me at once!"

"Very well," Ike said. "Take me to my subjects."

Meta Knight finally answered Fox, "Oh, Ike's just pretending he's God. The usual."

"Wait, _what_?!" Ike and Ronson took off in an instant.

"This is _great_," Meta Knight stated with a level of sarcasm that rivaled Ike's current level of ego. It was at that point that he finally took the time to examine the area. There appeared to be about nine small wooden houses scattered all along the yellow-red grass, and the land was mostly flat, just like it would be nine-hundred years later. There were wheat fields about, and the sun was setting. Everything seemed to shape like a bowl around a large castle in the middle of the town.

"That's where Smash Mansion is," Meta Knight realized, in reference to the castle.

"Or at least, where it will be," Fox corrected. "Look, we need to get this time machine into the forest, then we gotta find Ike."

"What about Snake?" Meta Knight asked.

"He's like a child or a dog or something," Fox compared. "He'll come running back to us when he wants food or a bouncy ball or something." He made his way to the side of the time machine and began to push. "Give me a hand here." Together, the two began to push the half-ton piece of fossilized keyboards towards the green.

* * *

"This is the throne room, Milord," Ronson said to Ike as he opened the double doors to a large chamber lined with fancy torches and stained glass.

"This is beautiful," noted Ike as he followed Ronson to the big gold throne coated in red cushions.

"Please, take your seat," Ronson asked of Ike. "It is customary that I read select text from the Holy Text of Kovek to you."

"Who's Kovek, by the way?" asked Ike.

"Kovek is our earthly word for your higher form, Milord," revealed Ronson.

"I see," Ike told him with a nod. He threw himself down onto the throne and swung his legs over the side. "Bring on the bible."

Ronson began, "His majesty Kovek the Eleventh was crowned on the thirty-first of September, and-"

Ike stopped him, "Wait, wait, wait."

Ronson answered: "Yes?"

Ike corrected him, "There is no thirty-first of September."

Ronson told him, "Yes, it was deleted in memory of him."

"Right..."

"Ahem, 'the thirty-first of September, and his advisor was chosen. He took the throne, and then he took the bath, for the trip had made him smelly. It was then he went to sleep, and did not awake again, for where his body once lay was only a sheet.'"

"What happened to him?" asked Ike.

Ronson responded, "We believe he suffered the same fate as every other incarnation has."

"And that is?"

Ronson gravely told him, "It is suggested that he was snatched and devoured by the feral beast known as Khavrok. "

* * *

Fox and Meta Knight finally managed to heave the time machine into a forest clearing where nobody could find them. The trees provided a worthy shelter, and Fox got to work on the machine.

"Any way I can help?" asked Meta Knight.

Fox answered, "I think I'll be alright on my own. You should go look for Ike, wherever he is."

"And then when I get him, go after Snake?" Meta Knight progressed.

"Eh, if you want," Fox told him. "He'll come back on his own."

"NO I WON'T!" Snake shouted as he dashed past them, with a pack of wolves following behind. Meta Knight shook his head.

"Don't bother helping out; it'll be good for him," Fox told him as he reached for a wrench. Meta Knight turned around and began to walk back towards the town.

* * *

"Meta Knight! There you are!" Ike exclaimed with relief in his voice as his friend entered the throne room.

"Are you alright?" Meta Knight asked him. "You seem a little... off."

"No, we have a problem," Ike revealed to him with a sliver of fear in his voice.

"What problem?" wondered Meta Knight. Ike told him about Khavrok, the tradition, all Ronson had told him.

"We've gotta do something," Ike said. "I don't wanna die!"

"Yeah, fine," Meta Knight told him. "I'll help you. Where's Ronson now?"

"I am here, sir," came Ronson's voice as he stepped through a door adjacent to the throne and into the room.

Meta Knight asked him, "Can't you do something about this... Cat-Rock business?"

"It is tradition," Ronson explained to him. "And as such, we cannot do anything to save our lord. It is how the system has always been, and how it has always worked."

"It hasn't _worked_," Meta Knight told him. "Your gods die. Constantly. When was the last time a law actually got passed around here? You know what, don't answer that. Why not change tradition? Tradition is bullshit. All it ever causes is pain and lack of advancement. It's silly, and you should be ashamed."

"But we have always been a traditional society, and so shall we remain!" Ronson protested.

"Not if I have anything to say about it," declared Ike, standing to his feet. "What if I were to say that we're no longer a traditional society?"

"I'm afraid that is a crime according to tradition!" Ronson contradicted.

"What if I said it wasn't?"

"That would also be a crime!" Ronson told him.

"What if it wasn't?"

"That's also a crime, I'm afraid!"

"DAMN IT!" Meta Knight finally shouted. "Look, Ike. We're not getting any help from this chump, so we need to go find Cow-Rock and put a stop to this."

Ronson began to protest, "I'm afraid that-"

"_I'm _afraid that you're fired, Ronson," Ike interrupted with a glare. "And you now how we send off the scribe around here."

"No, I haven't the foggiest, my lord..." Ronson insisted through teary eyes.

"Turn around," Ike told him. Ronson turned to look away from Ike. "On your knees." Ronson obeyed. Ike raised his sword.

"Ike! What are you doing?!" Meta Knight shouted at him.

Ike turned to him and answered, "Punishing him." He pulled back his sword dramatically. Meta Knight watched in horror as Ike brought the sword forward and slapped the flat metal against Ronson's backside with a loud smack.

"What... what the hell?" Meta Knight asked aloud. "You're spanking him?"

"Paddling, more like. This is how we do things around here," Ike told him. He proceeded to smack Ronson again and again, until Ike was sore and Ronson moreso. "Now get out of here, Ronson." Ike pointed to the door. Ronson groaned in pain as he got to his feet, and waddled out the door.

Meta Knight looked to the god. "Ike?"

"Yeah?" he answered.

"That was the most messed up thing I have ever seen," he told him.

"You've never seen Nana's famous striptease," Ike contrasted.

"No, I can't say I have," Meta Knight responded. "I didn't even know that was a thing. Don't tell me you've seen it..."

Ike, with a sigh, told him, "I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't. Some things you never forget, no matter how much you wish you could..."

"Right..." Meta Knight answered with a whistle. "Now, where can we find this Cock-Rock?"

"You mean Khavrok?" asked Ike. "He lives in some cave outside the town."

"Then let's go find this cave!" suggested Meta Knight, raising his sword as if he was leading a fight and spreading his wings as if he was leading a flight. In his rhyme-filled head, he wished he could just go to bed. But alas, Ike was in danger, and Meta Knight would have to pass on his own little manger. "It's you we have to save."

"That rhymed," Ike pointed out.

"That it did," Meta Knight replied. "That much I'd big."

"Stop it."

"Sorry." Meta Knight regained his composure and got back into character before leading Ike out the front door.

"Hey guys!" came a familiar voice. The time machine rolled up in front of them, though it had been heavily modified. It now had a much more sleek outer appearance, as if it had been sanded and painted and then tossed into a ditch and replaced with a model completely unlike the first. The doors were now less like car doors and more like time machine doors, assuming time machine doors were like car doors that were taller and thinner and almost identical to an iron door found on an airplane. Functionally, the time machine was able to move without being pushed, implying that either anti-gravity or wheels had been added. It turned out to be the latter, as Meta Knight noticed the RC Car duct taped to the bottom of the time machine when he peeked under.

"Get in!" Fox's voice sounded from a speaker that was almost unnoticeable behind the rear view mirror that served little to no purpose. Meta Knight and Ike obeyed, stepping into the time machine. The inside looked mostly the same, though with the addition of a sofa next to the toilet, and a more sophisticated looking terminal in the front.

"How did you manage all this?" Meta Knight asked.

"I used my desktop computer," Fox told him.

"Must be a good computer..." noted Ike.

"Eh, it's an okay computer," answered Fox.

"We already made this joke in Chapter 1," Meta Knight pointed out unabashedly.

"Yeah, but we didn't break the fourth wall last time, so it's still funny," Ike replied.

"It wasn't really funny the first time," Meta Knight insisted with a shake of his head. He threw himself onto the sofa. Fox now had four monitors mounted on the front wall, the top left being the front, the top right being the back, the bottom left being the left side and the bottom right being a paused episode of Community.

"Wow, that's not right..." pointed out Ike.

"What? I ran out of cameras," Fox answered.

"Not that," Ike countered. "You paused an episode of Community." Fox and Meta Knight rolled their eyes in unison.

"Alright Fox, we need to find Khavrok's cave," Meta Knight said.

"Already on it," Fox told him. He began to push a few buttons on the newly-implemented touch screen in the console, and in an instant they were charging forward. The bottom-left screen changed to show a map of the area, with three beeping green dots on the screen.

"What do those mean?" asked Ike.

"The one that's moving through the middle of the town is us," Fox answered. "This one that's over in the corner is the cave. That one over there in the middle of that minefield is Snake."

"How are you tracking him?" Ike wondered.

"You really think I'd be dumb enough _not_ to plant a tracker on him? He was bound to run off at some point."

"Are we just going to ignore the fact that he's standing in the middle of the minefield?" Meta Knight asked the group.

"Oh, he's an expert with explosives," Fox told him. "He'll be fine."

"Not that," Meta Knight said. "How is there a minefield in the year 1111?"

"Like I said, Snake is an expert with explosives," Fox repeated. "We need to make sure he digs those up. If they kill someone then we could have a big problem on our hands."

"Like being the cause of someone's death in the past therefore wiping out their descendants?" asked Ike.

"No, for causing climate change, YES FOR CAUSING SOMEONE'S DEATH!"

"Words hurt," Ike muttered. The ride got quiet from then on, and the time machine finally rolled up at the entrance of Khavrok's cave. Fox pushed a button, and collectively everything hummed and shut off. He opened the door and waved the others out. Meta Knight and Ike hopped down to the ground and looked into the cave.

"Wow, I can almost see the end of it," Meta Knight pointed out. "Small cave."

"Right, let's kill this thing," Ike said. He drew his sword. Meta Knight drew his as well, while Fox shut the door to the time machine and drew his blaster. Into the cave the trio descended, heading into the dark depths.

"I can't see anything," Meta Knight told them.

"Hold on, I've got this," Fox responded. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small rectangular object. Pushing a button caused the face to light up the path.

"What is that thing?" Ike asked.

"...My cell phone."

"IKE WATCH OUT!" Meta Knight shouted. Ike turned to look ahead, and saw a large wolf creature flying towards him. Quickly, he lifted his sword and blocked the impact, though the weight of the beast was enough to knock him to the ground and force him to drop his sword. Meta Knight rushed over and stabbed the creature, though it just bounced off the creature's skin.

"My sword doesn't work!" he pointed out. Khavrok bit into Ike's shoulder, causing the swordsman to scream. Fox brought his blaster forward and proceeded to rapidly fire on the beast, though nothing was accomplished in doing so. Finally, Ike managed to kick the creature off of himself.

"Run!" Fox commanded. Meta Knight hastily pulled Ike to his feet. Ike grabbed his sword from the ground and rushed out of the cave with his two friends. The run was short, and they made it into the sunlight.

"I don't think he's going to come out of the cave," Ike noted. "We're safe out here."

"What can we do about that thing?" Meta Knight asked. "It's too tough to stab or shoot."

"Then we just have to crush it to death," Fox decided with a half-nod.

"How do we do that?" asked Ike.

"With the cave," Fox told him. "This cave isn't here in the 2000's. If we blow it up, it'll collapse and crush Khavrok."

"Did someone say... _blow it up_?" came a voice from the top of the cave. The trio looked up and saw Solid Snake standing there dramatically.

"Showtime," he uttered, pulling forward a button in his hand. He pushed it, causing the minefield to detonate.

"What good did that do?!" shouted Meta Knight at him.

"Just watch," Snake told him. Just then, a cow came flying through the air. It soared a beautiful arc and then crashed into the ceiling of the cave, behind Snake. Snake jumped from the roof just as it crumbled under the cow's weight. The cave collapsed into a huge dusty pile of rubble.

"What the hell was that?" Meta Knight asked him.

"I put a cow in the middle of the minefield, and calculated perfectly where the cow would land whenever I blew up the area around it," Snake explained. "I learned that the momentum and weight of the cow would be enough to bring down the cave."

"You did all that?" asked Fox.

"Not really," Snake revealed. "I actually just wanted to see what would happen. Honestly, I'm surprised that happened the way it did."

"I'll take it," Fox said. "Well, Khavrok is dead. Snake is back. The time machine is fixed. Can we go now?"

"There's just one more issue," Meta Knight told him. "We've got to tell them that Ike isn't a god."

"Oh yeah! What was that all about anyway?" asked Fox.

"No idea," Ike answered. Just then, a cough. The group looked at the rubble and watched as the stones shifting, revealing Khavrok, crawling from the cave.

"He's alive!" pointed out Fox obviously.

"Wait a second," Meta Knight noticed. "That's just a costume! No wonder he couldn't come out in the sun! We wouldn't have seen that in the dark!" He moved towards Khavrok and ripped off his head before he could protect himself.

"Ronson?!" gasped Ike and Meta Knight. "You were Khavrok?"

"Cough... that's right," grumbled Ronson. "And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids... and that_ fox_."

"Why'd you do it?" asked Meta Knight.

"Because.. it... was... tradition," he spat along with a bit of blood and salty tears.

"Really?" Meta Knight asked him. "You killed hundreds of people just because it was tradition? How did that tradition even _start_?!"

"It was... tradition to start murderous traditions," revealed the wolf poser.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" asked Meta Knight. "Alright guys, what do we do with this guy?"

"I have just the plan," Ike revealed.

* * *

And so, Ike revealed to the townspeople that Khavrok had been defeated, and that Ronson was actually the wolf all those years. He then retired himself as god, and denounced the idea of a town god altogether.

As for Ronson, he was condemned to a life of eternal paddling at the stockade.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

A/N: There is a new poll on my profile that I'd very much appreciate votes on. I'm trying to establish who the most liked characters in my _Smashing Shenanigans _and _Timeless Tale_ universe are most well-liked so I can prepare for the future. *wink*


	5. Where It All Began

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#5: WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

The time machine materialized in the woods on February 2, 2014 at 3:45 in the afternoon. Meta Knight was on his way to Fox's house to apply as his roommate, Ike was preparing for an early fast food dinner, Solid Snake was camped out inside the past version of the time machine, and Fox was about to become a victim of circumstance during his afternoon jog.

"Here's the plan, everyone," Fox began. "At 3:58, Ike sets down his food on the picnic table at the park while he runs to the toilet. By the time he comes back at 4:03, the Baconator is taken. I jog by at 4:04, and then get accused of taking the Baconator. That's when I get chased back to my house and meet up with Meta Knight and set all this time travel business off. 3:58 to 4:03 is the window of opportunity for our culprit. I'm not sure exactly when, but somewhere in that time frame, the Baconator is stolen. We need to find a hiding spot, remain unseen, and watch during that time period to see who comes to take it. There's no intervening just yet. If we stop them, we create a paradox. We have to wait until the time machine leaves at 4:09 before we do anything. Any questions?"

"I have one," Snake admitted with the raise of his hand. "How do you keep up with all those times?"

"My time machine keeps track of all its past journeys," Fox revealed. "The first travel we all went on together was at 4:09. There's a big clock in the park that tells the time, and Ike and I could both see it from where we were. That's how we remember the times at the park."

Snake sighed, "How convenient."

"Now, let's get to work," Fox told the group. He opened the door and peeked out, before motioning the rest of the group and stepping outside. Ike, Snake, and Meta Knight followed, in that order, with the round little swordsman shutting the door behind. They began to trudge through the grass and into Smashville. It was 3:49 when they got to the edge of the park. The park was rather nice, with a cobblestone path weaving all around the place, with a nice fountain in the middle. Towards the far side of the park was an impressive digital clock about 30 feet in the air, atop two pillars. It looked very much like a sign that announced important events, so much so that it was in fact, just that, though without announcements of the important events that Smashville never had. Off to the right was a single picnic table, with the bathrooms just behind it. Meta Knight pointed out a single tree surrounded by thick shrubs, and the group all collectively huddled into the brush.

"What now?" asked Meta Knight to Fox.

"We wait," Fox answered. "Hey Snake, can you stop bouncing around? It's really noticeable."

"I'm sorry, but I have to pee," Snake told him.

"Can't it wait?" asked Fox.

"I'm not sure," Snake answered.

"Did you see Snake in the bathroom, Ike?" asked Meta Knight to the taller swordsman.

"No," Ike answered. "Just me."

"Make it quick, and get out," Fox told Snake.

"Yes sir," Snake answered, jumping to his feet and rushing to the bathroom.

"Idiot," spat Meta Knight. "He's going to ruin this for all of us."

"We'll be fine," Fox said.

"Hey look, there's you," Ike noticed, motioning with his head towards the track. There was Fox, looping around the course.

"Now it's really important we don't get caught," Fox told him. "Me especially."

* * *

Snake burst into the bathroom door and threw himself across the floor towards the urinal. He barely had enough time to unzip before he was relieving himself.

"Ooohhh yeeeeeeeaaaah," he moaned, somewhat sexually. Behind him, the toilet flushed. The stall opened.

"Snake! What's going on?" asked the one who emerged.

"Bowser!" Snake exclaimed, turning his head and high-fiving his friend with his left hand as he fixed his crotch area with the right. "I'm just on a reconnaissance mission."

"Really? Spying on Peach again?" Bowser asked with a chuckle.

Snake laughed and answered, "No, just watching Ike to see who steals his Baconator. We had to come back in time in Fox's time machine to do it, so I'm on a tight schedule."

"Time machine?" Bowser responded aloud.

"Yeah," Snake told him. "It's this really nice looking thing we parked in the woods. Can go anywhere and any time."

"That sounds amazing!" confirmed Bowser.

"Uh huh!" Snake answered. He looked at his watch and realized, "Oh, I gotta go!" With that, he ran to the door and began to jog back to the tree where his friends were hiding.

"He didn't wash his hands," noted Bowser aloud. "But still... a time machine... Hmmm..."

* * *

Snake ducked back into the bushes at 3:57.

"Cutting it a little close there, Snake," said Meta Knight.

"Sorry about that," he answered. "Bowser's a chatterbox." Bowser himself emerged from the bathroom and began to leave the park, making his way towards the woods.

"Riiiight," Meta Knight droned. "Here you come, Ike." Sure enough, Ike strolled into the park with a ridiculously large cup and a bag full of salted cardboard, also known as a Wendy's combo meal. The group noticed the way he walked was a little off, as he seemed to be waddling slightly. He set his food down on the table before running into the bathroom.

"This is it," noted Fox. Time passed. No sign of anyone just yet. It didn't seem like anyone would come. Time passed.

"4:02," read Meta Knight from the clock. "No one in sight." Just then, the Baconator floated up out of the bag and a few feet more before it vanished from sight.

"Whoa, did you guys see that?" asked Snake. "It just vanished."

"That's cheating," hissed Ike. A second later, the drink disappeared, too, in the same fashion. "That's new..."

"What?" asked Fox.

"My drink was still there when I came back," Ike said. "But it just disappeared."

"Maybe it got put back," Meta Knight established.

"Something's not right about all this," Fox noted. Then, the table itself floated up, and disappeared like the rest, dropping the bag onto the ground.

"This seems wrong," Ike noticed. It was at that moment when the clock struck 4:03. As if on cue, Ike stepped out of the bathroom.

"No, no, that's all wrong, that's all wrong!" Fox was muttering. Past Ike arrived at the bag and looked down at it. He picked it up and looked it over, before throwing it down and looking at Past Fox. He began screaming nonsense at him and stepping onto the track.

"It's still happening the same," Ike noted.

"Yeah, but it _changed_," Fox told him. "Something altered this. Something caused that stuff to disappear. We changed something." The large digital clock began to spaz out, going from 4:05 to 4:15, to 6:37 to PEN 15. Sparks exploded out of it before the clock went out altogether.

"What's causing this?" asked Fox. Just then, Meta Knight realized.

"Bowser's a chatterbox..." he said quietly to himself. He looked at Snake. "You said Bowser was in the bathroom?"

"Yeah!" Snake responded.

"What'd you talk about?" he asked.

"Nothing, just that I was in a hurry because I was on a reconnaissance mission in the... past..." Snake saw his mistake.

"Damn it Snake!" Fox shouted at him. "You told Bowser about the time machine! That's where he was going when he left the bathroom! He went to go steal it! The reason everything went crazy just now is because he just went somewhere with it!"

"He can work the time machine?" asked Ike.

"It's simple! Snake here could work the time machine!" Fox insisted.

Meta Knight said, "I actually doubt that."

"We just lost the time machine! Time is about to fall apart!" Fox shouted. "Who knows what he'll do with it?!"

"Let's find out," Meta Knight insisted. "We need to go back to when he stole the time machine and see where he took it."

"How could we go back to that time when he just took the time machine?" asked Ike.

"We use the time machine," responded Meta Knight.

"He took it!"

"He took the one we came back in," Meta Knight clarified. "We take the one we left in."

"That's our only shot!" Fox realized. "We need to hurry! To my house!" He leaped from the bushes and rushed out of the park with the others, towards his own house. It was only about forty five seconds away, and sure enough they neared the scene.

"Oh no," Meta Knight said aloud. "There I am. What if I see myself?" Fox turned and opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly, he floated up into the air. He disappeared.

"Fox!" shouted Ike. The same began to happen to him. He floated up into the air, and then vanished into nothing. It was now Snake and Meta Knight, running towards Fox's house. Meta Knight, from the past, was standing atop the porch.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it," muttered Meta Knight in distress. The two jumped onto the porch.

"What the hell?" asked the past Meta Knight. Meta Knight of the present's eyes widened.

"_Think, think, think,"_ he thought to himself. An idea came to him.

"HIIIIIII!" he shouted as his past self, flailing his arms awkwardly.

"Oh... Kirby..." the past Meta Knight noted. "It's only you. I didn't realize you were imitating me. I'm sorry I swore. I, uh... I know you don't like that." Snake unlocked the door to the house, and then the two ran inside. They quickly dashed into the basement.

"Why do you have a key to Fox's house?" asked Meta Knight.

"I have a key to everyone's house," responded Snake. The two jumped into the time machine.

"Okay... we need to go to... ahm..." Meta Knight started as he threw himself onto the laptop. "4:01, in the woods." He began typing the numbers.

"How do I set the location?" he asked himself. As he thought it over, he noticed the header for Location was followed by a small text box. He did not know what he needed to type. To the side, there was an arrow pointing down. The small swordsman decided to click it, which brought up a box full of options. Of these options, he saw only one that was familiar: Google Maps. Hastily, he clicked it and then typed in "Smashville Woods." Quickly, a pin was placed on Smashville Woods in the map. Thinking back to what Fox said when the time machine malfunctioned, he pressed Enter.

The time machine departed, and it was certain that their adventures could have never happened at all.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: Now it's just Meta Knight and Snake off to save all of time and space! This is going to wrap up in the next three chapters.


	6. Where It All Ended

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#6: WHERE IT ALL ENDED

In Smashville Woods materialized the older model of the time machine, that which Meta Knight and Snake had become familiar with in the first few hours of their journey. The two had prepared themselves to rush out and battle Bowser in the upcoming minutes. Whirling around and walking towards the door, Meta Knight drew the sword he would use to attack Bowser. But as he opened the door and stepped outside, Meta Knight was flabbergasted by what he saw.

"Where the hell are we?" he asked aloud. All around him, there was ruin. The sky was red and covered in dark clouds, the grass and trees had died and turned a sick brown color, and the town to their right was covered in small grass huts. There was only one building that appeared prosperous, and that was a large castle in the middle of the town. Meta Knight knew where he was.

"This is Smashville..." he noted. "That castle's the Smash Mansion. Bowser, what the hell have you done?"

Snake then asked him, "Won't Bowser be coming up here to steal the time machine?"

Meta Knight responded, "What time machine? Ours is the only one over here. I think we've ended up in a different timeline, Snake."

"Different timeline?"

"I think Bowser took the time machine, went back in time, changed something, and then turned Smashville into this," he theorized. "So now the question of the hour is, how do we undo it?"

"Why don't we just go back in time as far as we can go and take his time machine?" asked Snake.

"That'd take a long time," Meta Knight responded. "And I'm not sure just how much time we have. You saw the way Fox and Ike disappeared. What if we're next?" Snake paused for an answer.

"So then what do we do?" he wondered.

"We've got to figure out where Bowser went," he answered. "So we need to find Bowser. And based on everything I know about Bowser, there's one thing he wants."

"To kill Captain Falcon?"

"Bowser, not you," corrected Meta Knight. "No, Bowser wants power. He wants to rule. Where would he rule? How about Smashville? Peach lives here, Mario lives here, everyone he hates lives here. He wants to prove something to them, to rule over them and have them under his control. And what do you know? There's a castle just over there, and I have a pretty good idea who's in charge of it."

"Is it Bowser?" Snake asked.

"Actually, yes," Meta Knight confirmed. "I'm proud of you."

"I'm proud of me, too," Snake told him with a tear in his eye.

"Uhhh, right. Let's head to the castle."

* * *

King Koopa, also known as The King of Smashville, also known as The Lousy King, also known as The Best King Ever, also known as King Asshole, also known as Bowser, lounged atop his throne, as he dangled grapes over his mouth and ate them exactly the way socks did not. To his left and his right, stood Lucario and Marth, and they fanned him with palm leaves against their will. The throne room had gone almost unchanged since 1111, with the only notable difference being a television hooked up and sitting at an angle to the throne so that Bowser could watch it without being blocked from view by those who entered.

"Kamek!" he shouted, shaking the throne room in the process. As a small Koopa flew into the room wearing a robe and riding a broomstick, Bowser downed the last of his grapes and threw remaining foliage into the hood of Marth's cape.

"Yes, my king?" asked Kamek.

"I'm ready for the subjects to make their requests," the king told his advisor. "Send them in."

"Yes, milord, right away," he agreed, before making a quick U-turn and taking off towards the door. He magically threw it open and traveled outside before motioning in those who awaited an audience. In came Meta Knight and Snake.

"Heeeeeey! It's Snake!" greeted Bowser, and he sat up. "Come on up! Join me!" Snake happily agreed, and he rushed up and threw himself into the throne with Bowser. "How can I help you?"

"We were, uh... hoping to learn some history about this place," Snake told him.

"History? What do you mean?" Bowser asked.

"How'd you get this gig?" he rephrased.

"Oh, you should know this since I owe it to you in a way," Bowser revealed. Meta Knight frowned at Snake from beneath his mask. "In an alternate universe, you told me about a time machine made by Fox McCloud. You know Fox, the one I had executed a few weeks ago."

"You had Fox executed?" asked Snake. "What for?"

"He wouldn't tell me how to fix the air conditioning on his time machine," Bowser responded. "So anyway, I decided to take that time machine back in time to the first time in Smashville history when they didn't have a king. Met some guy named Ronson. He was being spanked forever, so I decided to free him if he'd help me become king. He agreed, I became king. Killed Ronson, went on an 870 year hiatus, then came back and took my throne. Easy!"

"So you have a time machine?" asked Meta Knight.

"Obviously," Bowser answered, snarkily.

"Where is it?" Meta Knight wondered.

"As if I'd tell _you_," he hissed at him. "You're really pushing it. I know you're trying to steal it so you can make yourself king. That's exactly why I had you executed! Wait a second... That can't be right."

"You never had me executed," Meta Knight told him, thinking quickly. "That was my brother, Atem Knight."

"No, I'm pretty sure I executed you, Mario, Luigi, Captain Falcon, and Wolf all in the same week," insisted Bowser. "I'll consult my logs." He reached down and picked up a roll of toilet paper, and began to unroll it and read off writing in purple crayon.

"Let's see... Lucas, Toad, Zant, Mario, Luigi, Captain Falcon, Wolf, ah! My mistake! It was Atem Knight!" Bowser confirmed.

"_Thank you, alternate reality self," _thought Meta Knight.

"Oh well, one wrong move and you're next," Bowser told him. "Careful where you tread."

"Yes, uhm, my lord," Meta Knight responded hesitantly.

"My lord!" Kamek shouted, flying towards the throne.

"What is it, Kamek?"

"We've just received a report of another time machine in the vicinity," he reported. "The Koopas are attempting to confiscate it, but there is a man inside who is resisting."

"_That's OUR time machine! Who's protecting it?" _wondered Meta Knight.

"What man?" asked Bowser.

"Solid Snake," answered Kamek.

"That's impossible! Snake's right here!" Bowser told him.

"Sorry sir, but Solid Snake is definitely in the time machine attacking the Koopas," insisted Kamek.

"Snake has a bunch of clones or something like that. How do you know it's not one of them?"

"He's throwing grenades without removing the pins, sir," Kamek revealed.

"_Damn it, Snake,"_ thought Meta Knight.

"WHAT?!" Bowser shouted. "YOU'RE BETRAYING ME IN TIME?! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS!" He grabbed Snake by the collar. "OFF. WITH. HIS. HEAD!" An army of Koopas swarmed in from a hole in the ceiling that was not there a second ago. They all began to charge at Snake.

"I'm not really here," Snake told them, jumping away from Bowser and pulling out a box from his pocket. He threw it on top of himself and crouched to the ground.

"He's under the box!" Kamek pointed out. Bowser lifted the box.

"He's gone!" realized Bowser.

"_Good thing he didn't check to see if he was still holding on to the box," _thought Meta Knight with a sigh of relief. He realized this was his opportunity to sneak away. Though he turned to move through the Koopa army, he was spotted.

"You're not going anywhere!" Bowser shouted, pointing him out to the Koopas. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" The Koopas began to swarm around him as well, but Meta Knight pulled out his sword.

He threatened, "Back! Back!" Stabbing awkwardly, the small swordsman managed to keep them at bay. He was knocked off his feet by what felt like someone pushing him, but it was actually a burst of energy shot from the tip of Kamek's wand. The Koopas began to pin him to the ground. Meta Knight could not find his sword in the mix up, and he was unable to move.

"Hya!" came the voice of a familiar hero. Just then, the Koopas were knocked from Meta Knight's back. Meta Knight looked up and saw an especially tall Koopa. Said Koopa reached up to the sides of its head, before pulling off a mask.

"Link!" gasped Meta Knight. Behind Link was a group of four people: Pit, Olimar, Samus, and Megaman.

"Damn it! It's the Rebels!" gasped Bowser. "Koopas! Attack!" More Koopas began to swarm into the throne room, all charging at the Rebels. Meta Knight grabbed his sword and attempted to fight off the Koopas that were incoming. Meanwhile, a small cardboard box began to move across the floor, headed for the exit.

"Kamek! Deal with this! I'm going back to my quarters!" Bowser commanded before slipping out a side door.

"Meta Knight!" came a voice from behind. He turned and saw Lucario running over to join him.

"Lucario? You're working with Bowser!"

"No, no I'm not," Lucario told him. "Me and Marth here are the leaders of the Rebels. Bowser never quite caught on. Anyway, do you know how to work the time machine?"

"Yeah, I've worked with it before," answered Meta Knight.

"Then we'll take you there," Lucario said. With that, he and Marth sprung into action, helping the rebels to dispatch the Koopas. Kamek was flying around above, shooting blasts of energy that knocked the fighters off their feet, but they would always get back up.

"We need to deal with Kamek, first!" Meta Knight pointed out.

"I'll distract him!" Marth said. With that, he jumped into the air and began to try to poke at Kamek with his sword.

"You'll never reach me!" Kamek taunted, shooting a magic missile that knocked the fighter to the ground.

"But I did," Meta Knight whispered from behind. Kamek turned around, only to see Meta Knight floating in front of him. Before he could retaliate, Kamek was knocked from his broom to the fight below. Meta Knight dropped down onto the broom and began to attempt to pilot it down to the ground, though the broom only descended towards the ground slowly, which was technically exactly what he wanted.

"This way, Meta Knight!" Lucario shouted.

"Oh, right!" he responded, hopping off the broom and following the two out of the building.

"Where's Snake?" asked Marth as they hastily marched towards the right.

"I have no idea," answered Meta Knight. "He disappears sometimes." Marth and Lucario led him around to the back side of the castle, where there was a pair of doors leading into a cellar. Marth kicked the door open with a perfect thrust of the foot.

"Not bad," Meta Knight told him.

"He keeps it in here," said Lucario. They descended down the stairs into a dimly lit room. There in the corner, Meta Knight saw the time machine, covered in cobwebs and dust.

"It's all up to you, now," Marth told him. Meta Knight walked over and opened the door. It creaked awkwardly. The time machine had evidently not been well-cared for.

"Thank you," Meta Knight told the two. "Both of you. I'll repay you both in another life. I promise." With that, he shut the door and walked over to the console. Typing in 11/12/1111, Meta Knight activated the time machine and transported himself back in time to the day when Bowser became king and ruined the future for everyone.

**TO BE CONTINUED**

A/N: Only two chapters left until this is all wrapped up. Vote on the poll now. You'll be glad you did.


	7. Smashville Stands

**THE TIMELESS TALE OF SMASHVILLE'S FINEST**

#7: SMASHVILLE STANDS

Meta Knight was alone. Totally, without a doubt, alone. Alone with no one around, fitting for a man who was alone, as that fit the very definition of alone with complete and total accuracy. There was nobody with him, and he was alone, as nobody was with him, making him alone. So alone.

He traveled back to November 12, 1111, the day after he had last come to Smashville's distant past. His mission was to find Bowser, and stop him from making himself king in the future.

Outside the time machine, Meta Knight wasted no time moving towards the site of the castle to see what had changed. He remembered what he had learned: Bowser went back in time, freed Ronson, became king, and then killed Ronson and went on a royal hiatus and returned to the present to retake the throne. The first thing he noticed was that there was no longer a stockade. It had been reduced to cinders, probably thanks to Bowser's fiery breath. The Koopa's ability to breath fire was quite devastating, and only second to Wario's breath. Meta Knight figured that was the reason the two did not get along very well.

Meta Knight bravely entered the castle. There were no guards walking around, so the swordsman was able to stroll right in. He headed right into the throne room with no resistance. Bowser was seated there, with Ronson next to the throne, and a resident of the town on his knee in front of Bowser. It was the species of this resident that surprised Meta Knight, for this particular resident was a fox. He only knew of one family of foxes to ever live in Smashville.

"What's your name?" Bowser asked him.

"Mac Cloud, sir," he answered.

"So what was it I called you in for? I forgot," Bowser told him.

"My son was just born, sir," Mac replied. "You told me you wanted to, ahm, bowseren him, I believe."

"What's that?" asked the king. Ronson whispered into his ear. "Oh! Right! We give him a new name! What's his name now?"

"James Mac Cloud," answered Mac.

"That won't do at all," Bowser told him. "No, I've got a better name for him. Stinkybutt McPoop. That's his name."

"But sir!"

"Unless you would rather be renamed Stinkybutt yourself? And then _die_?" Bowser threatened.

Mac paused. He then finally answered, "Ahhh, on second thought, Stinkybutt McPoop is a lovely name."

"Really? I thought it was horrible. You've got issues. Get the hell out of here. Your son is Stinkybutt McPoop now." Mac Cloud fled the throne room. Bowser returned his attention to the throne room, but Meta Knight had already ducked behind a potted plant conveniently placed next to the door he had entered.

"You can come out from back there!" Bowser shouted. Meta Knight slowly stepped out. "Oh hey, someone's actually in here."

"You... wait, what?"

"I just shout there in case someone is hiding behind something, sometimes," Bowser told him. "And there you are, Meta Knight. Now, what do you want?"

"I'm here to stop you!" Meta Knight revealed, thrusting his sword forward and pointing at him.

"Um... stop me from what?" Bowser asked.

"From making yourself king forever and then going to the future and ruling Smashville with an iron fist!" Meta Knight elaborated further.

"Oh, that's a good idea!" decided Bowser.

"It's a horrible idea! First, you kill Ronson, then Fox and everyone else! No one is happy!"

"Except me!" Bowser countered. "It's perfect!" Meta Knight shook his head.

"Not quite," Meta Knight told him. "Ronson, you with me on this?"

"Kill me?" Ronson asked. "As if! You couldn't kill me if you tried!"

"Oh yes I could!" Bowser protested, standing up from his throne and looking down at Ronson. "I could do whatever I want! I'm the king!"

"I've killed thousands of kings," Ronson spat.

Bowser laughed and answered, "Well I've killed hundreds of Goombas!"

"That's not very impressive, honestly," Meta Knight told him. "In fact, they're pretty easy to kill."

"How easy to kill?" asked Ronson.

Meta Knight answered, "Hella."

"That easy?" Meta Knight nodded.

"I will not be insulted in my throne room! Ronson, off with his head! Meta Knight, off with _his _head!" Bowser commanded. The other two looked at him.

"Wait, what exactly are you asking?" Meta Knight asked as he neared the throne.

"Kill each other!" Bowser demanded.

"Yeeeeeeeah," Meta Knight dragged out. "Let's not do that."

"I am the king! I demand it!" hissed Bowser.

Meta Knight nonchalantly said, "Nah."

"I WILL END YOU!" Bowser roared, stomping forward and grabbing Meta Knight. He lifted him into the air, only for Meta Knight to stab him in the eye.

"OW! MY EYE! GOD! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Bowser screamed, throwing Meta Knight away. "I COULD GO BLIND!"

"You already went blind," Meta Knight countered dramatically. "Blind... with power."

"That was kind of terrible," Ronson told him. "Really, can you leave that kind of joke alone?"

"Oh, sorry," Meta Knight said.

"I THINK IT'S BLEEDING! GET THE DOCTOR!" Bowser continued to cry.

"You had the doctor killed," Ronson said.

"WHAT FOR?!"

"You said, and I quote, 'The lulz'."

"WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?"

"How the hell should I know?" asked Ronson. "Whatever. You're a terrible king anyway. This is my reign now."

"WHAT?!"

"Yep, you heard it here," Ronson told him. "But just for good measure..." He poked Bowser in the other eye.

"OH MY GOD! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!" he yelled. Meta Knight was not quite sure what was happening at this point, but from what he understood, Ronson was king.

"I will find you somehow, Meta Knight!" Bowser shouted, feeling around the area blindly.

"Hey Ronson, where does Bowser keep the time machine?" asked Meta Knight, without fear of being ripped about by the incompetent and blind king.

"Some cellar around back," answered Ronson.

"Right then," Meta Knight began. "I'm taking this idiot back to the future. We need to make sure this never happens." He attempted to grab Bowser and drag him along, but Bowser clotheslined him and knocked him away.

"GET THE HELL OFF!" he shouted at Meta Knight. Just then, the clanging sound of metal, and Ronson was standing over the unconscious Koopa King with a frying pan.

"Where'd you get a frying pan?" asked Meta Knight as he slowly got back to his feet.

"A frying pan? He told me it was the necklace he was planning to give to his queen one day," Ronson revealed.

"That sounds like Bowser," reasoned Meta Knight with a nod. "Thanks for the help, Ronson."

"No," Ronson responded. "Thank you." Meta Knight dragged Bowser a few feet towards the door, but then he stopped.

"Ronson!" he shouted across the room.

"Yeah?" Ronson asked.

"Can you make a royal decree for me?" the swordsman asked.

* * *

Back in the present day appeared Bowser and Meta Knight within the time machine. If everything had gone according to plan, Bowser would no longer be king, so he could no longer be king in the present. Therefore, it was only reasonable that everything seemed remotely similar to how it did before.

As it so happened, Meta Knight saw what Smashville once had been when he stepped outside the time machine to look around. The houses were back, kids were playing, and the skies were blue. He had succeeded. Just then, the sound of a key scraping against piano wire, followed by jingling bells. The small swordsman turned around and saw the time machine fading away.

"Of course..." Meta Knight said to himself. "The time machine never came here because the older version wasn't here for Bowser to take." The time machine completely disappeared from view.

"So where do I go now?" he asked himself. Time began to answer his question. As he looked down, he saw right through himself. Like the time machine, he was disappearing.

"I never saved the day," he realized. "This version of me will disappear... I'm going to forget how I saved the day..." This realization upset the fading swordsman. Even though he had saved the day, it meant nothing. It was as if he never did anything at all.

Meta Knight disappeared.

TO BE CONCLUDED

A/N: This is about to wrap up. I hope you guys liked it. Be sure to leave a review or two so I can know what I did right and what I did wrong. I'd love to keep writing some SSB stuff.


	8. Time's End

#8: TIME'S END

It was 3:58 on February 2, 2014. Time had reverted back to that point, because that was when the whole cycle began.

There sat the four friends, hiding in the corner of the park to watch on as the thief would make himself known.

"Here you come, Ike," said Meta Knight. The Ike of the past set his drink and bag down on the table and ran off to the restroom, as he had done the first time around.

"This is it," noted Fox. Time passed. For several minutes, nothing at all happened.

"4:02," read Meta Knight from the clock. "No one in sight." Nothing seemed to be happening, and it was unlikely that anyone would steal the Baconator.

"Do you think something went wrong?" asked Fox. "Someone's supposed to steal it."

"You're right," answered Ike. He stood up.

"What are you doing?!" Fox loudly whispered at him. "You're going to be seen!" Ike jumped from his spot and ran to the bag. He reached into it and pulled out the Baconator that had started off all the chaos they had endured. With a quick lunge he twisted around and sprinted back to the bushes, throwing himself into his hiding spot just as his past self exited the restroom and retrieved the bag.

Frantically, the past Ike searched the bag and under the tables, looking around to find what may or may not have happened to the Baconator he had purchased. All hope was lost. It had been stolen. As the Fox of the past rounded the track, Ike charged at him and began shouting obscenities at him. Fox was shaking his head, denying whatever he was being accused of. Finally, he took off running. Ike chased after him. Chapter 1 had begun.

"What the hell was all that about, Ike?" asked Fox. "You just stole your own Baconator and caused this whole problem!"

"Hardly a problem if you ask me," Ike replied. "Nobody else was taking it, I figured. I realized that if it didn't get stolen, then we'd never have gone on our adventures. I've had fun."

"What are you saying?" Meta Knight asked of him.

"If I didn't steal the Baconator, I wouldn't have followed Fox into the time machine," Ike reasoned. "Then none of this would have happened. And I didn't want to see it all get undone. So I thought, maybe I could steal it myself. I'd get to eat the Baconator, and then go on the adventures. It was a win-win." He unwrapped the Baconator and took a bite.

"That..." Fox started. "Wow. That's kind of touching, Ike." Snake was slightly teary-eyed.

"I've had fun, too," he said to the other three. "I'm really glad I was able to come along with you guys."

"You know, I've actually had a lot of fun, too," Meta Knight told them. "Seeing history, experiencing the future, going on adventures, reliving the best parts of the past... I never could have experienced it without the time machine."

"But now that we've solved what we came to achieve..." started Fox.

"It's not ending," Ike finished. "It can't end! If it ends, where do we go? Our separate ways? For what?! How can I go back to what my life was before? I can't! Not after what I've learned! Not after what I've done!"

"You got your Baconator back..."

"Eff the Baconator!" Ike threw the sandwich into the dirt and stood to his feet, crushing and churning the sandwich with his shoe.

Meta Knight asked Fox, "Hasn't this meant something to you?"

Fox told him, "It's just, I've gone on these adventures before. It's nothing new to me. I mean, sure, I appreciate the company and everything, but I can manage without. I've seen enough to last a lifetime."

"So there's nothing we can do to keep going?" Meta Knight wondered.

"Ah, what the hell," Fox answered. "We can do more. Especially for fun this time."

"Letter for Meta Knight!" came an awkward cry. The four friends looked over and saw the local Postman running towards them all.

"A letter for me?" Meta Knight asked. The Postman pulled out and presented the letter to the swordsman with an awkward trumpeting diddy. Meta Knight took the letter.

"We've had this letter at the post office since the year 1111," the Postman said. "I remember the day it came in. The king brought it to us, see."

"The king?" the four asked.

"1111?" they asked again.

"You remember?" they asked a third time.

"Yessiree, bobbalinko!" chimed the Postman. Meta Knight opened the letter and began to read.

"_Dear Meta Knight,_

_Hello. It's Ronson. You know, that Ronson. You may not remember, in fact you almost definitely don't remember, but you came back to 1111 on your own to save the future. I'm not sure what exactly the story behind your return is, but if you got this letter then that must mean you succeeded._

_If I am correct, then the day is February 2, 2014. This is when you requested my letter. Today, or at least, February 2, is the day that Bowser is being imprisoned as per a royal degree. A royal decree you suggested I make so that Bowser could not steal your friend's time machine and become king. I suppose it is a paradox that he cannot steal the time machine, since the only reason you came back and told me to write this is because he did in fact steal the time machine. Hey, I guess time itself doesn't know how to work that one out. Time is a terrible author._

_You saved my life, it turns out. Though Bowser took the throne temporarily, you and I dethroned him together. You told me he would execute me if he stayed in power, and the tyrant admitted to it. Now, I am the king and he is not. I owe it to you._

_There was one more thing you told me to point out. You told me to suggest this to you, in these exact words: 'Free the Asshole Squad.'_

_I'm not sure what that means,but I'm assuming you have an idea. After all, you suggested it._

_Have a nice life._

_Sincerely, King Ronson"_

"What was all that?" asked Fox.

"Just a thank you note," answered Meta Knight, folding up the letter and putting it into his pocket. "So, more adventures?"

"Sounds good to me," answered Fox. "Where should we go first?"

Meta Knight smiled and answered, "How about prison?"

THE END


End file.
